One outta two may end in divorce
But cold beer is cheaper than child support
Granddaddy’s words they’re all too clear
Save money son, buy earplugs and beer
It sure makes me happy not to hear her bitch and moan
I thought she’d probably leave me but I think it turns her on
‘Cause lately we ain’t fighting, ’cause lately I can’t hear
It works just like a charm, these earplugs and beer
She’s screaming out loud, but I can’t hear a thing
Who would’ve thought all the joy that this would bring?
She gets to speak her mind, I get to sit right here
I saved my marriage, son, with these earplugs and beer
We’ve been married twenty years now, so far it’s all been bliss
She fetches all my beers and we always hug and kiss
When we cuddle up real tight, I shed a happy tear
I’m happy all day long with my earplugs and beer
She’s screaming out loud, but I can’t hear a thing
Who would’ve thought all the joy that this would bring?
She gets to speak her mind, I get to sit right here
I saved my marriage, son, with these earplugs and beer
She gets to speak her mind, I get to sit right here
It works just like a charm, these earplugs plugs and beer
Now honey calm down, calm down
You’re turning red in the face
I am the man of this house and I will not be pushed around
It doesn’t mean I don’t love ya, I need a beer honey
Now, honey, you know screaming louder’s not gonna help nothing
All this fussing and fighting
Just ain’t no need in it
I can’t hear a word you’re saying ain’t gon’ make me feel bad
Honey just sit down
Sugarplum